Tuesday, March 25, 2008

My Felony Arrest

Charlie and I had just finished a run at one of the shopping malls. We were driving away from the mall, when two men suddenly burst out of a store. Their arms are piled high with suits. Two store personnel follow closely yelling and gesturing wildly. Apparently those two guys were trying to get away with a snatch and grab, but there was no getaway car in sight. So these guys were trying to do a world record sprint with 25 suits in their arms. They are leaving the store employees in their dust when they look up and see us and the rescue truck.

            Once they see us they throw away the suits, and take off across the parking lot. Now my partner and I aren’t quite sure what to do. I finally said “follow those guys.”

So we turned on the light and sirens and started to follow these guys across the parking lot. I got on the radio and advised the dispatcher we were in pursuit of two possible robbery suspects and we needed law enforcement as soon as possible before we caught these guys. What were we going to do with them once we caught them?

You have got to picture a large rescue truck with two guys sitting in air conditioned comfort chasing/following two guys frantically trying to out run the truck. These two guys kept looking over their shoulders as if to say “What in the fuck is going on? We can’t even do a simple rip off right.”

            We continued to follow these guys as they ran across the parking lot and around a bowling alley, where they finally stopped exhausted. Now the worst happened. They stopped. Now what. The cops were still not there.

            Charlie and I jump out and stand by the truck. The guys were about thirty feet away. I thought that was close enough. So I gave them my best police officer pose, hands on hips, leave my sunglasses on and try to look tough.

            “All right now you guys just stay right there. The cops will be here any minute.”

            Well these guys start to catch their breath. The begin to realize that here are two dummies with nothing but radios and paramedic scissors on their belts telling them to wait so they can be arrested and carted off to jail. This does not seem like a very good idea to one of them. He takes off running.

            I figure one out of two ain’t bad for two unarmed paramedics. I am satisfied. But Charlie is off like a flash and grabs this guy and throws him back with his partner. I cringed, Jeeze Charlie don’t make him mad.

            “Now stay put.” Charlie yells.

            They look at one another then at us. You could see them trying to decide if they were going to stand for this. I mean two paramedics, who is afraid of a paramedic.

But before they could come to a decision a cop coming rolling up and jumps out of the car. If you think the looks the robbers were strange. you should have seen the look this cop gives us as he pats down the suspects.

            When we pulled into the station we into the station the word had already gotten out. We got a hard time about trying to be cops for a long time. There was even a cartoon in the department newsletter. It showed Charlie grabbing the guy while I stood with my hands in my pockets. The caption was “count me out.” I was known for sometime as Count Me Out Huder.

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